Veteran comedian Ali Baba told
his fans how he suffered in the
hands of an Ijaw man.

Read what he wrote below.

“Ehen oooo! Shebi… That’s how I
stupidly agreed to follow my
cousin to get a massage from an
Ijaw man today. All my friends
advised me against it. But hey!
After all, My own cousin can’t
wish me bad! Was I wrong?!!!
This wicked Ijaw man started by
putting one boiling pot of life on
my stomach for 15mins… All the
salad inside me from breakfast
DONE! Then he made me sit on
another pot…

That one heated me from under,
I felt like someone waiting for his
election result. After some people
will say they don’t know what is
destroying the ozone layer. If
9ice tries it, he will become
Alapokan! Then the massage…
See, That man is a winch.

Nothing else. He massaged me
with all the power he could
muster. He must have retired as a
washaman from an army
barracks.

To make matters worse, he was
trying to put elbows where God
did not. He bent my hands
sooooo backward I nearly
confessed I collected subsidies.

He was not done. The monster
now put his knee to the back of
my neck and (applied the kind of
pressure Igbo traders use to
reduce 3 suitcases into one) then
traced my spinal cord from my
neck to my waist. And he had the
guts to ask why I farted. If he
sees me in that run down pigsty
he calls clinic, he should call me
monkey. Old bagga! PMB Cancel
Amnesty NOW! As for my cousin,
him own done set! I will do my
own back.

When we left the place, to walk
to the car, the sun was up…
11:36am. Everyone else had a
shadow. Except me. My shadow
had left me during that massage.
I finally asked myself, who send
me? PS: To everyone who finds
this note funny… May God
arrange your own in double
portion. Nothing wey UNA no dey
call joke. Winchzards! And to
@frankedoho who just sat there
and was just laughing… You are
not a friend”

By admin

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